Don’t Blame it on Rio: Black Men & Sex Abroad Part II
MTW: There are a lot of generalizations thrown around in the book by the men you interviewed. Such as, white women are submissive, women from third world countries are hypersexual, African American women have attitudes. Where do you think these generalizations stem from?
JW: Anyone who has worked with men professionally knows that the attitudes that they have about others, especially women, is a direct result of attitudes they have about themselves. So the generalizations about women stem from the same place where the generalizations about men develop.
MTW: I’ve always been disheartened that black men who travel to Brazil and other places for sex compare their interactions with sex workers to the interactions that they have with black women at home. Do these men really not see the difference between the motives, lives, and perspectives of sex workers versus their wives and girlfriends?
JW: I share your concern, but one of the dynamics which makes this phenomena so complex is that many of women that black men deal with are not just “sex workers.” In the chapter “Frigid Black Women,” the men argue vehemently that it is not just Brazilian prostitutes that have less hang-ups about sex compared to black women, rather it is Brazilian culture that treats sex and sexuality differently from black women. Another issue is that if they are sex workers, they don’t easily correspond to the “traditional” ideas and images we have here in America about prostitutes. Some of this has to do with the difference between legalized prostitution and non-legalized prostitution. In countries where prostitution is legal, you don’t have the tyranny of the ” pimp” like you do here in the States. As a result, women involved in sex work have far more control of both their finances and sexuality. This is one of the reasons why the Brazilian prostitutes or “program” girls tend to be more educated and are widely considered by men to not be victims. Additionally, women in poor countries don’t have to be working as sex workers to want to meet American men. I mention in the book several of the websites where men can find thousands of women waiting to come to the states daily. All the average American male (black or white) has to do is go online and see that there are alternatives to American women.
To your point about motives, it is extremely important to take notice of how men ultimately conclude that all relationships involve similar “transactions.” In the chapter “She Knows How To Love Me: The Secret of the Brazilian Attraction” the men talk very candidly about how materialistic black women are in America and how paying for sex is essentially what most men do. They also argue that women in other countries are far less materialistic than women in this country. So given this point of view, some might argue that men were pessimistic about relationships and have these attitudes about women way before they leave the US. In either case, what is really striking is the level of intimacy and interaction that men describe with women overseas but not here in the states.
Read the rest of this article at:
http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/05/09/dont-blame-it-on-rio-black-men-and-sex-abroad-part-ii/
